On Friday, August 20th, 2010 - exactly 1 month and 1 day before our 1 year anniversary, my husband informed me he no longer wished to be married. We have been together for 5.5 years, and just now he realized I am not the one for him.
It's all very confusing and all kind of tangled and intertwined in my head.
He has no real reason - there are no crazy out of control fights, there is no cheating or illicit affairs. We get along great. We still love each other. We are each others best friends. We have similar personalities. We just weren't meant to be married. hmmm....
So... that's where I am. On the crazy train to single-town. Unsure why I'm on the train, but thankfully, I will be so busy getting our home ready to sell - I won't even have time to worry about it.
It's the getting into my new apartment - alone - and being forced to sit and wonder that I worry about. Worry about the future I will no longer have - the family we will no longer have.
So the last few days I have been informing people what has happened, which I think - has to be one of the hardest parts. The wound is still gaping open and gushing blood - and you have to talk about it - which I do not want to do. It makes it more real to say it outloud somehow.
You start with family and friends, and move onto co-workers. No matter who you tell - the women all respond the same way. THAT ASSHOLE! You can see the wounds from their past flair up in their eyes. No matter what happened - no matter who's fault it is, no matter how it went down, HE is the asshole, they are on YOUR side, they will give you their left arm if you need it, you take ANYTHING you need, you take all the time you want, you call me at any hour - day or night, and I am there for you. Rage in their eyes, nostrils flairing, all their ex heart breaks running through their head - they are there for you. No questions asked. That is also the one good thing about being a woman in a break up. Men rarely get the support, sympathy, and pure nasty man bashing that women get.
Posts
Wow! I don't even know what to say! Except that you are in my thoughts & we are here for you! =D
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine what that feels like! Sorry you have to go through this and when you don't feel like talking about it outloud, you can always write it here and we will back you up!
ReplyDeleteWow. Been there done that. Cyber hugs and all that stuff...I hope that you will be gentle to yourself.
ReplyDeleteWow! Thanks for the support ladies!
ReplyDeleteI'm your new friend, and I've got your back. The same thing happened to me, only we'd been married 13 years and had 3 kids. And even though he swore there was not another woman, there was.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS... wow, have I ever been there and done that too! 'gaping and gushing blood' is such a good description -- and how it just seemed to get worse when I had to tell people. You WILL get through this and will survive. Hang in there!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support ladies! Grace - I know you don't end a happy marriage and refuse counselling without reason - and I know this reason will come out eventually. Thank you all again for your support.
ReplyDeleteWow! I'm stopping by from SITS for the first time, but I promise you it's not my last (I'm gonna follow you). However I want to offer you all the support I have, I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sammy!
ReplyDeleteStopping in via SITs. Sorry for your troubles. I am single, too. Can't imagine what you are experiencing now. I listened to a podcast last night about commitment. If I remember I will dig it up. It may help you understand what your soon to be exhusband is experiencing. Everyone has doubts after making commitment. It's normal. The difference is that we have to make mature and rational choices to stick by our commitments after the choice has been made. Peace to you.
ReplyDeleteOooh, thank you Laurie. That's helpful to understand! I appreciate your support!
ReplyDeleteWow. I'm really sorry you are going through this! I am stopping by from SITS also; I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. Please keep us posted so we can continue to pray for you and your situation.
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
Girl, I'm so sorry to hear that you are in this really tough situation. And you're right, sometimes it's so good to be a woman and get support and the hugs and offers of tea and comfort. But in the end, you really have to sit in that train alone. I'm so sorry for you and I'm sending you positive vibes.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. That pain must be horrendous.
ReplyDeleteThat just happened to friends of ours and it was heartbreaking on both sides, but even more so on hers because she had no idea it was coming.
You are in my thoughts.
*hugs*
Sorry I'm a little late read and responding to this, but I'm just heartbroken to you. I mean honestly -- he IS an asshole if he's just leaving for no reason!! I'm here to listen if you need to vent. Lots of other girls, too :)
ReplyDelete