Friends... Everyone has friends. Best friends, acquaintances, lovers, confidants, besties...
I have this friend. She is... manic. She is never just... you know:
Me: Hi, how are you, whats new?
Her: Hi, good, not much...
She is always:
I HATE MY BOYFRIEND, I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND, I HATE MY JOB, I LOVE MY JOB, I'M HAVING THE BEST DAY, I'M HAVING THE WORST DAY.
So, the other day she emails me. She's having the worst day AND she hates her boyfriend. So she gives me this looooong story about how her boyfriend is a jerk, she hates him, she gives me a huge list of horrible stuff that he has done and ASKS FOR ADVICE.
Now normally I'm a listen, smile and nod kind of girl - but, if you ask for advice - I'll give it.
So, I start with my normal advice "what do YOU think you should do?"
She says "don't give me that crap - tell me what to do"
So I tell her. I say to talk to him. Tell him that you don't like when he does this. Offer some kind of solution and see what he says. She is gone for a while, comes back and says " I spoke to him, I apologized for thinking he did something wrong and begged him to forgive me"
um... what?
So I said, I thought he did this and this and this.
She said - he did, but I had no right to get mad, and I don't want to be alone.
I said ok, well, whatever you think is fine - just make sure you're being treated properly.
She Freaked - the F*ck - out!!!
She phoned me just to yell at me. How DARE I suggest he is not a great guy! How DARE I suggest their relationship isn't perfect. How DARE I suggest that there may be ANY KIND OF PROBLEM!!!
Whoa, like, what did I do?
She told me her issue
I gave, what I thought, was a good and fair solution.
I didn't want to give her advice in the first place?
Do you guys have friends like that?
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I have a friend EXACTLY like that. I think she knows I'm tired of giving her advice and I'm tired of caring about her stupid on-again off-again boyfriend. So frustrating! I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteThat's a person who thrives on drama and doesn't really care who it's directed toward as long as they are the one dishing it out.
ReplyDeleteThe type of friend who takes and takes and rarely ever gives back.
Is it worth it?
I don't know, I'm asking because I think we all have friends like that..
You know what makes me sad about that post? That was me. WHen I was in college, that was me. I wish my friends would've kindly talked to me about that, b/c now I look back, and I see why they never called me, I always had to call them.
ReplyDeleteCan you kindly tell her? She probably isn't even aware, just like I was...
Thanks for stopping over for my LBS day! I appreciate it.
Oh... I have had friends like that. {had} being the key word! It's exhausting. And I think at some point I was a friend like that. Good friends can tell each other the truth... gently.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it just doesn't work. I think people come into our lives for a reason. Some people are meant to be in relationship with us forever and some, only for a season. The tricky part is being able to recognize the difference.
Some friends you just can't help. If she can't recognize you were just trying to be a good friend... I am not sure she is worthy.
Good Luck!!
Stopping over from LBS Tea Party...I have family like that...worse than having a friend like that! I've just stopped giving advice and made the standard line "I'm sure you'll do the right thing..only you can know what will work for you"
ReplyDeleteUgh! I hate people like that! It's like "why did you ask my advice if you clearly were just going to do whatever you wanted anyway?"
ReplyDeleteMy friends tend to be the opposite, though. They want to give advice nobody asked for, and get upset if you don't follow it to the letter.
"Boy, that's a tall shelf."
"Maybe you should stand on a table?"
"Thanks. I wouldn't have thought of that otherwise. What would I do without you?"
And then... "But I told you to stand on a table, not a chair!"
Stopping by from LBS!
Oh brother! I think we ALL have this friend! Good Luck! I like Holly Diane's suggestion =D
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS!
Oh my goodness that's crazy! You sound like a great friend though - so keep doing what you're doing. Don't take it personaly, because it sounds like she has no control over her emotions, so she says things on a whim. If it really bothers you, don't be afraid to let her know that either, just like the advice you gave her! :) Anyway, you do sound like a great friend. Thanks for visiting my blog, you got a new follower!
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