Ahhhh dating.
You know what amazes me? Women (or men) that can have their husband (or wife) leave one weekend, and be dating the next weekend. Or even more shocking, women (or men) who date while they are still married, and then leave their spouse for the other person, and continue to date and live happily ever after (maybe).
Can I tell you, I have ZERO interest in dating. Like seriously, zero. In the past, having a flirty funny conversation with a cute doctor was fun. Now, it vomit inducing. Seriously, I throw up a little bit each time. I hate it. I would rather SLOWLY be ripped apart limb by limb by a dull toothed great white that's not that hungry.
Crazy hey? I actually backed away from the computer a little bit when that picture came up. How far down does his throat actually go? Anyway, dating, yah, no thank you!
And really, at this point, when you are left for no real reason, how can you ever be comfortable again. I'm 33, so I have to eventually start dating again, I can't be alone forever, but how do you not wake up every morning thinking "is this it? is this the day he decides he doesn't want to be with me anymore?" Do you ever get over that? Or is it forever in the back of your mind? I guess we'll find out!
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Yipes, that last picture is scary.
ReplyDeleteI'd be an awful dater, I think.
Spending time & getting involved in serious talks apart from love,sex will actually improve understanding between partners & can result in a long relationship.
ReplyDeleteAww **big hug**. You'll get through it, I promise. I don't think your ex was justified in leaving because I don't believe love is just a feeling - it starts with a feeling, but what makes it stick is commitment (and you should choose carefuly who you commit to). When you do decide to become family with someone, you become just that, family - you don't divorce your parents, so you don't divorce your wife (of course unless in extreme circunstances, like cheating, abuse, etc). That's what I believe, so NEVER think that him leaving had something to do with YOU - it had to do with the fact that he wasn't man enough to honor his commitment, and you need a man, not a boy! And YES, there are plently of REAL MEN out there - they're just harder to find, because they're looking for the real deal too, not just anyone! So don't feel pressured to start dating around right away - you need time with yourself, time to process this, and time to heal. Only the airhead of your ex (sorry for the insult - don't know him, but that's what he sounds like to me :) could think that this could be processed overnight. Take as much time as you need, you're still very young and VERY worthy to be loved!! Don't settle for less than what you deserve, and if your ex wasn't it, then it's HIS loss!!
ReplyDeleteSending you a hearty hug... am in a similar boat starting the dating scene too. ::shudder::
ReplyDeleteI think the one positive aspect, as terrifying as it is, is thinking that maybe there is hope for happiness again someday, or at least there are a lot of people out there looking to be connected and appreciated. We're certainly not the only ones.
Try okcupid.com and browse around at the people listed, it's free and no one will contact you if you don't post any pictures or info on your profile. I did this last night and it was interesting. Took my mind off my aching heart for a full 15 minutes (how long I browsed).
I can truly relate to where you are -- I was there, too! But here I am, 3 years later, and I am dating a guy, and it hasn't been the equivalent to an anesthesia-less root canal (more like getting a cavity filled, perhaps...).
ReplyDeleteBottom line: I believe we will always be scarred; we will always have those questions in the back of our minds. But one day, you wake up and truly think to yourself that taking a chance may be worth it again -- because they can't all be like that. Or maybe they are, and ignorance is now my friend. Who knows?
Hang in there. It will get better! :)
Hi there, I just found your blog and think its great! Have been through something a bit similar, and I am hoping one day...i'll just start dating again and it will all fall into place! Until then I am hiding underneath the duvet covers :)
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